Please do not mistake this as a spam, your winning is real

So, I don't post these as often as I used to, but I thought this was worth a good chuckle.  I'll let you know if I get any response.

ATM MasterCard Department.

Attn: Beneficiary,

I write to you concerning the international email bullock drawn winning which Zenith Bank Plc do every 4years.This year 2014, your email happen to be one of the luckiest email which came out as a winning from the drawn and the Panel Zenith Bank Plc, has approved to send your winning through an International Swift (ATM MasterCard) valid sum of $2,500.000.00. (Two Million, Five hundred Thousand United State Dollars) Which is access able in any ATM Machine location Worldwide.

Your winning payment has today been approved by the federal ministry of finance with authority to remit your payment ATM MasterCard. Please know that your winning ATM MasterCard has been handed over to zenith Bank Admin director, Mr Anthony Morrison. All useful papers with Proof of Ownership Certificate will be attached to you as the possible beneficiary of the said fund before shipment. Also letting you know that a concrete shipping arrangement has been setup with Fedex courier service to receive your ATM MasterCard in the next 48Hrs for pick up.But you will have to secure the shipping papers and insurance permit order to execute an express deliver to you. Honestly It will cost you $280.00 and no further fee attached after that.

If you desire to receive your ATM MasterCard now and start usage to your funds, Than complete the bellow information accordingly and send to  (mr.anthonymorrison101@gmail.com) to start processing your shipment with immediate effect

(1) Your Full Name :

(2) Full Residential Address : (P.O.BOX NOT ALLOWED)

(3) Direct and Current Phone :

(4) Present Country :

Once your details is been submitted to Mr Anthony Morrison as instructed, Then all useful papers and guide lines will be given accordingly to secure your ATM shipment with the courier service and the tracking for pick up. Please do not mistake this as a spam, your winning is real.

Also, do not be difficult with the $280.00 required to obtain the shipping papers with the courier service. It is the only mince since you not located close to Zenith Bank head Quarter here for pick up in person.

congratulation in advance to receive your winning funds.

Thanks for your co-operation.

Tel-Number: +234-704-637-1100

...and now for my response!

Hello!

I am quite surprised by this email, and extremely overjoyed!  I mean, holy crap, you only do this drawing once every 4 years, and I was lucky enough to get picked? WOW! That's amazing!

I'm a little concerned though.  I mean... $2.5 million...on a single ATM card?

What happens if I lose it!?!?!?!?!

Can you split it into several ATM cards? Maybe 5? That way if I lose one I won't lose all of my money.

Also, I don't think I need a Proof of Ownership certificate. I'd also be ok with standard delivery instead of express.  So I've done some rough calculations, and I think that would only cost me about $150, right?  So is that ok? I'll send you $150 and you send me 5 ATM cards, no Proof of Ownership, and not Express? Also, why can't I use my Post Office box? Does the stuff have to be shipped FedEx? The last time I got something from FedEx, they mistook my neighbor's compost bin for a mailbox - and let me tell you that Grateful Dead CD I ordered from Amazon STILL stinks! So, if I could get it delivered to a post office box that would be great.

I tried calling you at 704-637-1100 but I got some law firm in North Carolina who had never heard of you.

Look forward to hearing from you!

Ken